As many of you know, I love having fun with spammers. It's just so ... well, fun. Sometimes for kicks I'll respond to a spammer but will get no reply. Then, when I'm lucky, they will reply, and that's when my alter ego Holden McGroin takes over. Observe and note that all misspellings on my part are done intentionally.
2011/9/14 Mrs. Betty Richard <email@example.com>
I am Mrs. Betty Richard and I got your contact on net when I was searching for someone I want to Will my money to. Please I have Willed the sum of $5,000,000.00 to you which is the only money left in my account right now. If you want to know why I have willed this money to you and you want this money to be transferred to you please get back to me as soon possible.
Yes I woud like your money pretty please.
The next day from Mrs. Betty Richard:
I am Mrs. Betty Richard and I got your contact on my personal search of the person I want to WILL my money to. Please I WILLED the sum of ($5,000,000.00) to you ,that is the only money left in my account right now. If you really want to know why I have WILLED this money to you and you want this money to be transferred to you please contact the bank manager whose name and address I will give you as soon as you reply this mail.
My bank will help you transfer this money that I have WILLED to you. Right now I am in the hospital emailing you with my laptop computer and I will tell you my story as soon as I hear from you. Mrs. Betty Richard Of Paper Merchant Industry, Address.3 Manchester Rd Partington, Manchester, Trafford M31 4FB, UK
Yes I would definitely like to here more of you're story and am sorry you are in the hospital but at least you have a laptop computer that is nice I have never actually used a computer before so it would be nice to by one and use one with all this money you are so generationally giving me.
Later in the evening from Mrs. Betty Richard:
Good Morning Holden McGroin,
My story is that I was mistakenly injected with the needle used on a HIV/AIDS patient that was how i got this illness since a year and half now. Please I WILLED this money to you with all my heart and I believe is the will of God for me to meet you today. Ever since I got this strange illness of mine I strongly devoted my life to Jesus Christ and I have been WILLING my money to churches, charity organizations, and some individuals which you happened to be one of them, is God blessing to you.
Please accept my offer and help me. I have authorized the Bank manager/Account officer were i have account at United Overseas Bank (England) to help you transfer the sum of Five Million Dollars left in my account to you, I am in the hospital with my laptop emailing you. Please use half of this money for your investment and pray for me. Also the remaining half to charity homes in your country. Get back to me as soon as you receive this fund. please i will give you my Bank contact address once I read from you again so that you can contact them immediately God bless you do have a nice day.
Mrs. Betty Richard, Of Paper Merchant Industry, Address.3 Manchester Rd Partington, Manchester, Trafford M31 4FB, UK
My prompt reply:
That is terrible! Please, I want to help any way I can. Send me your money posthaste and I will first buy a computer because I have never used a computer and then I will do as you say and create my own religion and build my own church and welcome followers with open arms.
That was Saturday, and I have yet to hear back from Mrs. Betty Richard. Which, I must admit, I'm a tad irritated about. To think, this person was wasting my time for nothing!