The Ugly Face Of Facebook

Social networking is a necessary evil. As writers, it’s one of the best ways to help promote our work. It’s also one of the worst ways to promote our work.

Lately I’ve become rather bored with Facebook. I enjoy using Twitter so much more. With Twitter there’s a simplicity that is almost unexplainable. Basically, you write what you want to write in 140 characters. You follow who you want to follow. That’s about it.

But Facebook? Where oh where to begin? First you send a friend request, or you accept someone’s friend request, and then if they are new to Facebook, the system wants you to suggest friends to them. Of course, you don’t have to suggest friends to them at all. But if they’re new to Facebook, the system will occasionally try to get you to help them find more friends, or want you to write on their wall, or whatever. And then there are the groups and fan pages (I’m sorry, the like pages), and events and games and a whole bunch more bullshit. People posting links to articles and videos, people posting status updates like “is currently writing” and then fifty people “like” that status for some strange reason because, I guess, “liking” a status is confirmation of some kind of excellence in status writing. Then you have the people — and the people in question here are writers, because that’s who I’m mostly “friends” with — who then say they need to start a fan page for themselves, because they’ve almost reached their limit of 5,000 friends, so they’re going to be posting their writing news over on their fan page so everyone should become a fan (or like) if they want to be kept abreast of the latest news. (I don’t know if anyone has actually ever said “abreast” though I think they should use it more.) But the thing is? Almost none of these writers who have almost reached their limit of friends are actually getting friend requests from people (either readers or fans, and yes, there is a difference between the two). Instead they’re sending out friend requests, hundreds and hundreds of friend requests, because not only is having your status “liked” a confirmation of some kind of excellence, but apparently so it the number of “friends” you have. Oh, and let’s not get into how your live stream is clogged with updates on who has changed their profile picture or who has decided to like such-and-such a page or who has become friends with who.

I’ve bitched about Facebook before and I’ll probably bitch about it again, but my basic issue is that the place has become a black hole. You can’t escape it, not if you’re a writer or some kind of artist. Because, again, it’s a necessary evil. But I’m starting to loath it. I used to post both on Facebook and Twitter, but that became rather redundant and time consuming so I made it so all my tweets from Twitter went directly to Facebook. But a few weeks back I stopped doing that. Why? I’m not quite sure. Maybe because I don’t want to contribute to the information overload happening on Facebook. At least on Twitter, people who want to follow me can follow me and can stop following me whenever they want. But on Facebook? There are a lot more options. If they don’t want to see my updates, they can either a) hide my updates from the stream or b) unfriend me. And oftentimes, people don’t even know how to hide updates, and they don’t want to unfriend me, because if they’re a writer too and it comes to my attention that they unfriended me, then maybe there will be hard feelings and blah blah blah. Yes, Facebook has become much too political, which is completely and utterly ridiculous.

Recently I considered not quitting Facebook but at least unfriending all my “friends” who aren’t friends. Making it a true personal account, for just close family and friends. But then that would lead into problems that David Pogue most recently described in the New York Times and which summarizes the problem quite well:

As a tech columnist, I’m bombarded by friend requests — mostly perfect strangers — which puts me in an awkward bind. Do I accept them all, just to show I’m a good sport, thereby defeating the purpose of Facebook as a network of real friends? Or do I turn them down, hurting their feelings and making them think I’m an unfriendly jerk?

As writers, we’re often forced to walk on eggshells. We don’t want to do or say anything that might lose us potential readers and, consequently, potential sales. Because if we piss off one writer/reader/person, that writer/reader/person is most apt to tell one of their friends, who is most likely a writer/reader/person, and then that could create a domino effect.

So for now I’m sticking with Facebook, like I even have a choice. Awhile back Neil Gaiman said that the best way to use social networks is not to simply promote but to connect, so that’s why on Facebook I won’t just post updates when I have a story published or something to sell. I’ll occasionally post something, just to be part of the ongoing conversation. Because it’s like you’re at a party, and there you are, standing in the corner. If you only speak when you have something to sell, people will ignore you. But if you speak to say this and that, something that has some connection with others, then when you do have something to sell, people will listen. Hopefully.

  • http://poweringthedevilscircus.blogspot.com Jason Jordan

    Have you seen the recent South Park episode about Facebook? It’s hilarious. You can watch it here: http://www.southparkstudios.com/episodes/267112 .

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  • Robert Swartwood

    Crap, Jason, I’d totally meant to mention that episode and link to it, too. Thanks for reminding me. It’s such a great episode. I love Cartman’s line: “Kyle, this is the way the world works. If you want to find some quality friends, you have to sort through all the dicks first.”

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  • http://charlesgramlich.blogspot.com Charles Gramlich

    Certainly it is time consumming. There’s an initial upsurge in all kinds of connections but the payoff decreases over time, I think. But it is neccssary and I’m increasingly trying to enjoy it.

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  • http://linda-leftbrainwrite.blogspot.com Linda

    The whole privacy thing (or lack thereof) of fb is starting to bug me. And I simply have made it a policy to not ‘fan’/'like’ individuals. Litzines, organizations, causes — sure. But not individual fan pages.

    I’m in a dilemma about fb, and certainly don’t spend as much time there as I used to. Twitter has it’s own problems, though most of them are likely due to my own ignorance of how to reign information in and channel it effectively.

    I’m just really social-media’ed out. Peace…

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  • http://glenbinger.blogspot.com Glen Binger

    The episode of South Park is perfect for this post, for sure, Robert. I totally agree with you. It is completely addicting and I can’t escape it.

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  • Robert Swartwood

    Charles — Maybe I just need some time away to realize what it is I’d be missing.

    Linda — I know there’s a lot more to Twitter than I use it before, but I’m content for now. Just with it wasn’t overloaded as much as it was, but beggars can’t be choosers.

    Glen — I’m half-tempted to try close out my account just to see if Facebook sucks me into itself.

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  • http://TheShellshankRedemption.blogspot.com Madeline@The ShellshankRedemption

    At this point in time, I don’t use Facebook or Twitter. I’m not saying I never will but I’m good for now. I’m sure I miss out on some things, but I also know I’ve kept some of my sanity by not participating in all the social media out there. I’ve got a website, 2 email addresses, and a blog. Hmm, does that make me old-fashioned? Have we redefined our definition of “old-fashioned” now, I wonder? :)

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  • http://madelinemora-summonte.blogspot.com Madeline@TheShellshankRedemption

    Hmm, another reason I don’t do a lot of social media is because I have enough trouble handling what I already have going on. For example, in my above comment, I plugged in the wrong blog address. Lovely.

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  • Robert Swartwood

    Madeline — The thing is, there is no right or wrong way for a writer to market him or herself. Every writer is different. So until an official rule book comes out, I think you’re fine with what you’re doing ;-)

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  • http://glenbinger.blogspot.com Glen Binger

    You will get sucked in and implode but only if you lose at Yahtzee. haha

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