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Beatrice & Virgil & Ripped Off Readers

By Robert Swartwood on May 19, 2010

Last month Erin Fitzgerald was kind enough to send me a copy of Beatrice and Virgil, Yann Martel’s latest self-proclaimed masterpiece. Here is the author himself telling you what it’s about (don’t mind that he comes off as a massive douche; he’s just very successful):

Last year the New York Times reported that Yann Martel got a $3 million deal for the book:

After a monthlong auction Spiegel & Grau, an imprint of Random House, one of the world’s largest publishers, bought the rights to publish Mr. Martel’s third novel, as yet untitled, in the United States sometime next year. Like “Life of Pi,” the new book is an allegory — this time about the Holocaust — involving animals. It relates the story of an encounter between a famous writer and a taxidermist who is writing a play that features dialogue between a donkey and a monkey, both imprinted on a shirt.

Of course, in the article Martel declined to talk about his advance, saying, “Frankly, with all the years it took to write this book, if you amortize it out, it’s not as much as one would like it to be.”

Uh-huh. But here’s the thing. The book itself is about 200 pages. With the font size and layout, I’d be surprised if the word count is anywhere over 60,000 words. So yes, it took him over seven years to write that many words, but the sad part? Not many of those words are very good. You’d think if the publisher was paying him close to $3 million (which, let’s be honest here, is a nice chunk of change) they might — oh, I don’t know — have an editor actually go through the MS and fix it up. And who knows, maybe they did, but the book I read felt like it had been written by a high school student — and not even an above average high school student.

Also, there are seven pages of Beatrice and Virgil discussing what a pear is. Seven pages!!! I’ll admit, I skimmed most of this book, and I’m glad I did. The main problem I had with the story is that the author tries to play up this great mystery of what the taxidermist’s play is supposed to mean, while almost every reader going into the book already knows it’s supposed to be about the Holocaust. That’s like going to see The Sixth Sense already knowing that Bruce Willis is dead (sorry if I spoiled that for anyone; if I did, watch Stir of Echoes instead, it’s a much better film).

The book has gotten panned pretty much everywhere. This makes me happy for some strange reason. In fact, the only reason I had any desire to even crack open the book was because of how bad it was supposed to be. And you know what? It’s even worse than they say. I recommend everyone read it just to see how bad it is. I’m going to be talking more in depth about negative reviews sometime later, but for now, here’s how Martel deals with them (notice how he compares himself to Tolstoy, Shakespeare, and Dante):

Posted in , | 8 Responses

  • http://charlesgramlich.blogspot.com Charles Gramlich

    Ok, I’m not driven insane with the need to read it.

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  • http://www.tawnygrammar.org Steve

    I haven’t read the book, so have no opinion one way or the other. But just about every review I’ve seen, on blogs, Goodreads, newspapers, etc., has singled out “the pear section” either as the WORST thing about the book or else the BEST thing about the book. Maybe I’ll just read that part — it’s clearly the pivotal moment! :)

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  • http://www.barrynapierwriting.wordpress.com Barry Napier

    This is a classic case of big house buying a name, not a book.

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  • ravi

    Douchey interviews for real. I need to check out this pear section.

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  • Robert Swartwood

    Charles – But it’s so wonderfully awful that you MUST read it.

    Steve – By the time I got to the pear scene, I was already bored with the book, so those seven pages became very ridiculous. If I still had my scanner I’d scan those pages and e-mail them to you.

    Barry – Based on how well LIFE OF PI did, of course a publisher would pay a lot for his next book. Just a shame he didn’t decide to write a good book this time!

    Ravi – He almost gives Sherman Alexie a run for his money.

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  • http://poweringthedevilscircus.blogspot.com Jason Jordan

    If I were him, I’d be too busy swimming in my money to bother with interviews.

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  • Michael Kelly

    Surely you’re not begrudging him the money? Life of Pi probably made millions for the publisher.

    My wife, who is a voracious and literate reader, loved Beatrice & Virgil. She wrote a letter to the publisher, expressing her delight in the book. 2 weeks later she got a lovely hand-written note from Yann Martel.

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  • Robert Swartwood

    I am not begrudging him the money, Mike. LIFE OF PI did extremely well so it was a no-brainer that a publisher was going to pay him loads and loads for his next one. I am, however, begrudging the publisher overpaying on a book that clearly wasn’t so great and then not attempting to at least try to make it better (and if they did try, they didn’t do a very good job of it, IMO); in this particular publisher’s case, I believe they had stars in their eyes. Regardless, I’m glad your wife loved the book; it’s good to know Martel will still have some fans left for when his next book comes out in about ten years ;-)

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