Contests

In The Land Of The BEST NEW ZOMBIE TALES

My story "In the Land of the Blind" (which won the Chizine contest, like, a decade ago) is reprinted in volume one of Best New Zombie Tales edited by James Roy Daley. Really, it's in there, as can be seen from the back of the book:

Yes, that's my name there, along with "Micro Award Finalist," which I guess is something special even though the Micro Awards are no more (three years is the normal longevity of an award, right?).

Anyhow, it's not your common zombie story. I like to call it a "non traditional" zombie story, because yes, the living dead are in it, but they do not eat humans. In fact, they're actually scared of humans. Here's a little bit from the opening:

Like everyone else he knew, Steven’s heart did not beat. Instead it lay dead in his chest, as docile as his brain and his lungs and his soul. So when he first heard the faint beating sound coming from outside his bedroom window, he didn’t know what to think.

He considered telling his parents. He’d been hearing the beating for almost a week now. Somewhere in the trees and bushes beyond their backyard. Its continuous thump-thumping sounded not outside of his head, but rather in.

When his friend Jimmy came over to the house one day, Steven took him out back.

“Do you hear that?”

“Hear what?”

“Nothing.”

If Jimmy couldn’t hear the beating, Steven knew his parents wouldn’t either. They’d just stare down at him with dead eyes and say, Oh Steven, don’t make things up. You know what will happen if you do.

He knew. It dealt with something only the zombies had, something called imagination. It was dangerous and evil and those who had it were hunted down and put out of their misery.

But one night the beating became too much for Steven. He snuck outside with a shovel — why the shovel, he didn’t know, except that he would need it — and followed the sound until he came to a spot beneath a willow tree. He placed his hand on the dirt where the thump-thumping was the loudest and felt the earth vibrating. He began to dig.

The anthology is available as an e-book (for $2.99 at Amazon and Smashwords) and as a trade paperback (for a slightly higher price at Amazon). I actually got my contributor's copies the other day and they're really nice. A thick book, too, over 300 pages (mostly because Ray Garton's story "Zombie Love" is about 100 pages long). Yes, the book is mostly filled with reprints, even though it's called Best New Zombie Tales. But hey, as they say, if you haven't read it yet, it's new to you.

Now, I have an extra copy here. Me thinks it's time for a new mini-contest. And here's how we're going to do it. In the comments section, write something that has to do with zombies. Your favorite zombie movie, book, video game, whatever. Or your least favorite zombie movie, book, video game, whatever. Or be creative and come up with a new mash-up. Whatever, as long as it has something to do with zombies. The deadline? Until ten people have entered. It could be a day, a week, a month, but when the tenth person has entered, I'll pick a random name and that person will get a free copy. Cool? Cool. Now I'm not great at farewells, so uh ... that'll do, pig.

Hint Fiction Contest Reloaded

Last year the term "hint fiction" was born in the essay "Hint Fiction: When Flash Fiction Becomes Just Too Flashy" published at Flash Fiction Chronicles. To commemorate the occasion, a retrospective essay, "Hint Fiction: One Year Later" appears at FFC today. A lot has happened in the past 365 days, and I want to thank each and every person who has supported the concept of Hint Fiction and has helped spread the word. And to celebrate Hint Fiction's birthday, we're having another contest. What is Hint Fiction? Inspired by Ernest Hemingway's infamous six-word story -- "For sale: Baby shoes, never worn" -- Hint Fiction is a story of 25 words or fewer that suggests a larger, more complex story. These are complete stories that hint at a larger story, not a first sentence or random sentence plucked from a larger work thinly disguised as a story. To see examples, look at last year's winners and finalists, or check out examples of my own Hint Fiction.

This year's judge:

Last year Stewart O'Nan was kind enough to act as the final judge, and I'm thrilled to announce that this year the final judge will be the one and only James Frey. Author of My Friend Leonard, A Million Little Pieces, and Bright Shiny Morning, James's story "The End or the Beginning" will appear in Hint Fiction: An Anthology of Stories in 25 Words or Fewer, being released this November (and which, hint hint, is now up for pre-order at Amazon and Barnes & Noble at a very affordable price).

Prizes:

  • The first place winner will receive $100; the second place winner will receive $50; the third place winner will receive $25. The first place winner will also receive a slew of  journals and anthologies donated by a handful of publishers:
  • My own publisher has also been kind enough to donate ten copies of Sudden Fiction Latino, edited by Robert Shapard, James Thomas, and Ray Gonzalez. A copy will be awarded to each of the winners and finalists, as well as to some random contestants.

Rules:

The contest starts now and will take entries until midnight April 30th eastern time. You are allowed to submit up to two stories in the comments section of this post. Any writer who submits more than two stories will be disqualified. If submitting two stories, submit them at the same time. At the end of this contest, all submitted stories will be deleted from the comments section. No reprints. Titles are not required but encouraged, as they can create an extra layer to the story. Winners will be contacted by e-mail and announced here. Have fun!

A Penultimate Paragraph Winner

Let's be honest here -- a Penultimate Paragraph Contest is pretty absurd. But it's one of those things that's just so absurd it's awesome (or so I'd like to think). I received fourteen entries to the contest. They were all so great, and it was really impossible to choose (just how does one go about judging a penultimate paragraph -- which, by the way, means second to last), but in the end I went with my gut. The winner of the world's first Penultimate Paragraph Contest goes to Ravi:

Buntz and I get floggings from our parents. Buntz is grounded for four weeks and his parents put him on a low dosage of Yidalin—the kosher stimulant. I get six weeks—three for the accident, three more for keeping them in the dark and bothering poor Mr. Smothers instead. Mrs. Buntz bakes Mr. Smothers one of her famous Buntz cakes. Buntz gets no Buntz cake.

I laughed out loud every time I read that paragraph, and so I just had to award it as the winner. Ravi, e-mail me your address and which journal you'd like at robert (at) robertswartwood (dot) com.

For the runner-up, I asked the Twitterverse to pick a number between one and fourteen. @everydaycamille answered the call immediately with the number four. So there you go. The random prize winner is our fourth entrant Sophie Playle. Sophie, e-mail me your address, and whichever journal Ravi doesn't take will be sent to you.

Thank you to everyone who participated in the contest. It was a lot of fun. In many ways, it reminded me of a contest I had about a year ago. In fact, tomorrow is Hint Fiction's birthday. It'll be one whole year old. And while my lips are sealed at the moment, I am grateful to everyone who reads and visits this blog, so I'll simply say this: have you been practicing your hints?

Gimme Your Penultimate Paragraphs

Next week is Hint Fiction's birthday, so it makes some weird sense that my most recent publications are hint pieces (well, one is a hint piece, the other is slightly longer). "Terms and Conditions" (25 words) appears in issue 7 of The Los Angeles Review, alongside work by Benjamin Percy, Rick Bass, and a slew of other great writers. (My deepest thanks to Stefanie Freele for being kind enough to accept the story in the first place.)

"NSFW" (34 words) appears in the premiere issue of Sententia, alongside work by Roxane Gay, Adam Robinson, and a slew of other great writers. (My deepest thanks to Ryan W. Bradley for accepting the story in the first place.)

I'm thrilled to be included in both publications, and to show just how thrilled I am, I'm having another giveaway/contest, this one in honor of Holden McGroin.

You see, because Narrative didn't seem to want to hire Holden as an intern (I can't imagine why not), his Penultimate Paragraph Contest idea has not seen fruition. So I figured I'd help him out and host the very first Penultimate Paragraph Contest!

What do you need to do to enter? In the comments section simply post the penultimate paragraph of one of your short stories. The stories don't have to be published, but if they are published online, please provide a link so we can check out the rest of your story (note that if you do provide a link, my site might think it's spam and hold it for moderation, so if that does happen, don't fret, it will appear shortly).

Deadline is Friday midnight eastern time, with winners announced at some point during the weekend. This giveaway/contest will have two winners: one person whose penultimate paragraph I'll pick as my favorite, and another person selected randomly. (Note that if you're reading this on Facebook and want to enter, please do so at the main website.)

Come on, people, this will be fun. Get crack-a-lackin!

Two Contests

For you VSF writers, here are two contests worth checking out. The first is presented by Ben White at Nanoism:

The second is presented by J.A. Tyler at Mud Luscious Press:

the first Mud Luscious Press bookmark contest:

anyone who has ordered from us in the past knows that we have already made some slick looking ephemera bookmarks with cover designs & excerpts from forthcoming novel(la)s, but we plan on giving all of our back-stock of those away at AWP & will need something new to send in June with our next two novel(la)s & our chapbook subscriptions.

the guidelines:

150 words or less, no genre restrictions, $5 per entry or $8 for two. paypal & submit your entry(ies) here.

winners (x2) will each receive one quarter of the total entry fee pool + c. copies of the bookmarks to share as they see fit.

So what are you waiting for? Go submit!