Joyland On Kindle ... But Not Really

Remember a while back there was this guy named Steven King and people were buying his books because they thought he was Stephen King and getting really upset? Well, the same thing is happening, only (surprisingly) nobody has caught on yet. At least, nobody has given this book any one-star reviews ... yet. EDIT: finally someone has caught on and the ebook has scored its first one-star review.

The ebook, published June 16, 2013, is titled Joyland (Hard Case Crime) by Stephen King, a review.

Talk about misleading.

According to the product description:

Stephen King brilliantly transforms a regular crime novel, into an amusement park, with pleasant and unacceptable memories, that teeter you on the edge of his Ferris wheel. When the ride finally stops, you push the bar back, and step off, right inside Stephen King’s, Joyland. You smile for a moment, at the sounds and smells of the fair, but here, joy takes on a different meaning. One that embarks on a role of entertainment, and saving a life becomes profitable. He reaches inside your emotions with unexpected sensitivity to human conditions: lost love, saving lives, family, friendships, mind readers, and fortunetellers. Yes, there are ghosts and murder, but more important is King’s ability to take you on a journey into the narrator’s youthful, past experiences, that are played in a rerun mode, by the now aged carny worker, Devin Jones. Joyland captures our desire to find answers to questions that we can’t seem to let go of, especially the painful ones. When the death of a close friend brings back those ghostly reflections of Devin’s life, he finds them lying next to colorful lights that seem to dance across those old carnival grounds, until the morning sun dispels them into tomorrow.

Does anyone get from that the fact this ebook is an review?

Anyone?

Bueller?

Currently (Sunday night at 11:40 pm) the book is ranked #1,558 in the entire Kindle store and is priced at $2.99.

And, according to the estimated length, is only 6 pages long.

The "author" of this ebook, Nick Walton, has published a few other ebooks with link-baited titles such as Oh, the Places You'll Go by Dr. Seuss; a review and Fifty Shades Trilogy: Fifty Shades of Grey, Fifty Shades Darker, Fifty Shades Freed 3-volume, reviewed.

The last one -- the review of the Fifty Shades Trilogy -- is estimated at only 3 pages.

And it's selling.

Welcome to the wacky and wonderful world of publishing!

On Neglect

I've been neglecting this blog lately in case you haven't noticed (and if you haven't noticed, then I have bigger problems). The reason? Well, lately I just haven't found much to blog about, which is odd, because there is always something to blog about. Like just the other week, I did a guest post for Joe Konrath about The Serial Killer's Wife hitting the USA TODAY bestseller list, and I didn't even bother posting a link here. Why? Well, because I posted links on Twitter and Facebook and called it a day, that's why. There was a time when I would try to update this blog on a near-daily basis, if not at least a few times a week, to keep the content fresh. Now, for some reason, I'm beginning to question whether or not any of it's a priority. Don't get me wrong, I'm not saying I never want to blog again, but what I am saying is that when I blog it should be with something worthwhile and not just fluff (I don't even remember the last time I did a rant). Looking back through the blog, I of course post about new books or published short stories or other stuff like that, and of course there have been the podcasts, which I'm not even sure if people listen to, and there have been times when I was more vocal about changes in the publishing industry or other shenanigans, but besides that? Fluff. Now, I don't mind fluff if you don't mind fluff, but I don't really know what it is you want. I guess, ultmiately, this is my blog, so I can do whatever I want, and if ignoring it is what I want, that should be fine too.

But, in the end, this is the central hub for everything that is me. I spend most of my time goofing around on Twitter, so if you ever want to see if I'm alive, that's the place to check. Facebook, not so much. Google + ... man, I keep forgetting Google + exists.

I'm not one to believe the less I blog or tweet or Facebook, the less sales I make. That's always been a silly assumption by a lot of writers. Maybe if I had over 100,000 followers on Twitter, that would be different, who knows. Ultimately, when it comes to self-promotion, I figure the more content available, the better. So that's what I've been doing. A week or two back I finished a new novel. This is a standalone thriller set in the universe of Man of Wax, but it's not part of the trilogy. If anything, it's a "prequel of sorts" to the trilogy, and if all goes well, that should be out later this summer. The day after I finished that novel, I started on a new novel, this one that takes place in the universe of No Shelter. Yes, that's right, it's a Holly Lin book but not a Holly Lin book ... sorry to be vague, but I want to make it a surprise. Also, I just approved The Calling and Spooky Nook for audiobook and those should go live in the next couple of weeks.

So that's what's been happening with me. There's good reason I've been neglecting this blog. I've been staying busy. But that doesn't mean I won't start updating it more regularly if you people want content. So tell me -- what do you like about this blog, dislike, hate, love, whatever? Let me know in the comments. Thanks.

I'm Officially A Bestselling Author

Remember that promo I did for The Serial Killer's Wife last week? Well, it went pretty well. Actually, it went great. The book spent several days in the Kindle and Nook Top 100. I joked with more than one writer friend how I hoped it might even make a bestseller list. Because while I could call myself a bestselling author, everybody and their cousin calls themselves a bestselling author as their books get ranked in genre lists and sub genre lists and sub sub genre lists, that none of it is official anymore. Well, for some strange reason, I visited the USA Today website tonight to check their list and was beyond thrilled to see that The Serial Killer's Wife had made the list at #139. Granted, their description wasn't spot on (the story starts in the Midwest, not Maine), but I can live with that. No doubt the book is going to slip off the chart next week, but I'm okay with that too. So ... yeah. Extremely thrilled. Thanks to everyone who purchased a copy last week, or has purchased a copy in the past. Now go tell your friends to purchase copies too!

Digital Boxed Sets

There's been this ongoing trend with ebooks that I had been hoping would die away, but, alas, it looks like it's going as strong as ever. I'm talking about ebook boxed sets.

You've seen these, no doubt. They try to create a three-dimensional boxed set look. Do they succeed, or do they just look ridiculous?

Well, personally, I think they look stupid.

Here are a few, just to give you an idea. Please note that I'm not disparaging these authors and their books, but simply using their boxed sets as an example of, well, how stupid this trend looks.

And they get even sillier the more books you add:

This trend has become so popular that even major publishers have gotten in on the action:

Not all, thank God. Here's a major publisher that, despite selling its soul for all the money in the world, at least has the sense to make a reasonable ebook cover.

See, that makes sense to me. It doesn't look at all ridiculous. I actually like the idea of bundling several ebooks together. I mean, why not? I did it with my ebook Two Shot, which combines The Serial Killer's Wife and No Shelter. If you can put three novels together and mark a few bucks off the retail price of all three combined, it's a win for everyone involved. But that disgusting boxed set look? No thanks.

Here are several other ebook covers -- more straight up covers -- that bundle several ebooks together that make a lot more sense to me.

So, which kind -- the boxed set or straight up -- do you prefer?

Writer's First Story

So this is fun. I had dinner with my parents the other night, who have been cleaning out their house and stumbled across what is apparently my very first story -- or, at the very least, my first recorded story. Not only that, I created a chapbook, so in many ways, this was my very first experience with self-publishing! The story, "The Desk," was written while I was in the second grade, for what assignment I, of course, can't remember. Anyway, I thought it would be fun to share the story, so see below. But please, please, please do excuse the spelling and grammar, as they are quite horrendous. Enjoy.