More Spamming Fun

As I had mentioned in this post, I find spam fascinating. Not just the fact that there are ridiculous people out there coming up with this stuff, but that there are actually enough stupid people falling for the ridiculousness. I should delete the Hint Fiction Gmail account; there really is no reason to keep it active, especially since it accumulates so much spam, but recently I decided to have some more fun. I might be the only person who finds this amusing, and if that's the case, sorry, but here's the latest (note that by copying and pasting I can't bring over some of the brightly colored fonts that are, I suppose, meant to catch people's attention and let them know this is completely legit):

from Google Promo 2010 <beto@wminas.com>

reply-to mrg.benfield.2009@msn.com

to

date Wed, Jan 6, 2010 at 8:44 AM

subject Google Happy New Year Promo

Your e-mail has emerged as a winner of £ 500,000.00 GBP (five hundred thousand pounds) in our ongoing Google Promotion. Your winning details are: Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN) :7-22-71-00-66-12, ticket number: 00869575733664, Serial numbers: / BTD/8070447706/06, Lucky Numbers : 12-12-23-35-40-41 (12). Contact Graham Benfield, for more information through the contact below:

Mr Graham Benfield, Email: info.g.promo2010@gmail.com.

So I respond as quickly as I can (keep in mind I check the account maybe once a week), using my favorite spamming non de plume:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com>

to info.g.promo2010@gmail.com

date Fri, Jan 8, 2010 at 5:24 PM

subject winner winner

Dear Mr. Benfield,

I am contacting you in regards to my winnings. What do you need from me?

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

And, as expected, this arrived:

from Mr. Graham Benfield <mr_g_benfield@msn.com>

to

date Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 9:45 AM

subject Verification/payment Processing ...(Please fill correctly and return)

THE Google UK GIVE-AWAY TEAM.

Belgrave House, 76 Buckingham Palace Road London SW1W 9TQ, United Kingdom. P O Box 1010

TEL:+44 703 1949460,+44 703 1931229 Fax: +448704710767, +44 700 597 8372 .

Dear Googler,

You are welcome to the  Verification/payment Processing Unit of the Google Giveaway Team. I am Mr. Graham Benfield acting as the processing/fiduciary agent of all our lucky winners for this year draw. Your email was received and duly acknowledged.please pardon me for the late response. Am pleased to inform you that your email address have been checked and it falls among our 24 lucky winning email addresses for this year draw.

Note, No purchase of ticket was required for this draw, all Participants (email addresses) for this draws were randomly selected from a worldwide range of web searchers who use the Google search engine(Googler) and other Google ancillary services and this is how your email was discovered and used among others for this year anniversary promotions. You have been confirmed as a winner of £500,000 GBP(Five hundred thousand Great  British Pound Sterling) which is your winning payout for Category A winners. This cash is from the total prize money of £12,000,000 GBP shared among the 24 lucky winners in this year anniversary giveaway promotions. As you already know,your email address was randomly selected along with others from over 100, 000 email addresses on the internet and each email address was attached to a ticket number : 00869575733664and CGPN:7-22-71-00-66-12, Serial numbers:/BTD/8070447706/06. Once again CONGRATULATIONS!!

Below is a copy of the Google Verification/ Payment processing Form which have been designed for lucky winners who are filing for their prize claim. The Form should be filled correctly and completely by winners(you) and must be sent back to me either by email or Fax along with a proof of identification (either a copy of drivers license or passport).Your payment processing will commenced immediately the VERIFICATION/PAYMENT PROCESSING reach me and your cash prize will be ready for disbursement as soon as your payment processing is completed and approved. Completion of payment processing and approval takes just 12- 24hours after the receipt of the Verification/payment processing form from winners. To this note, you are advise to fill and send back the form below as soon as possible to avoid any delay that may disqualify you from redeeming your fortune.

Note: For you to be able to fill out the form below, just click on reply from your mail box then double click twice) on the space box by this way you will be able to write in space box. Alternatively, you can just writeout the required information out and send to me via this email in plain text if you are unable to fillout the form as directed.

GIVE-AWAY LOTTO VERIFICATION / PAYMENT FORM Section A. **PERSONAL INFORMATION**
Prefix (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.):
First name :
Middle name :
Last name :
Date of Birth (yyy-mm-dd) :
Occupation :
Address :
City/State/province
Country :
Telephone number(s): Mobile number(s): Email Address 1&2: Section B. ** WINNING INFORMATION / PAYMENT OPTIONS **
Amount won / Date of notification
Ticket number / Serial number
Lucky numbers / CGPN
Payment Options (tick on any of the payment option, the one that you find most convenient)	Personal prize Pickup. Online Bank Transfer.

I expect you to fill and return the Giveaway promo Verification/payment processing form above within 24hrs upon receipt of this message so that appropriate arrangement can be put in place.

WARNING: You are strongly advise to keep your winning details very confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you to avoid unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. Any breach of confidential may disqualify you from redeeming your fortune.

Warm Regards MR. GRAHAM BENFIELD. Payment Release Department, Google Lottery Board,United Kingdom.

And here I play the trusting mark:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com>

to "Mr. Graham Benfield" <mr_g_benfield@msn.com>

date Sun, Jan 10, 2010 at 7:21 PM

subject Re: Verification/payment Processing ...(Please fill correctly and return)

Mr. Benfield,

I apologize but I am confused in regards to this form. Yes, I understand what information I need to input and where to input it, but how do I submit it correctly to ensure all of my winnings arrive to me safely? I am so excited about this! I have already maxed out all of my credit cards buying things for my apartment. In fact, I may have bought too many things, but that's okay because next week I am meeting with a realtor in regards to purchasing a house! Finally, I can afford one, and it's all thanks to you, Mr. Benfield. You are a saint.

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

And then ...

from Mr. Graham Benfield <mr_g_benfield@msn.com>

to hint.fiction@gmail.com

date Mon, Jan 11, 2010 at 8:43 AM

subject Attn: Processing/Verification Completed...( Contact Yorkshire Bank)

THE Google UK GIVE-AWAY TEAM. Belgrave House, 76 Buckingham Palace Road London SW1W 9TQ, United Kingdom. P O Box 1010

TEL:+44 703 1949460,+44 703 1931229 Fax: +448704710767, +44 700 597 8372 .

Dear Googler,

Accept our sincere apology,for the slight delay in responding to your mail,it was an outcome of the processing of your winning documents. We wish to congratulate you once again on this note,for being part of our 24 lucky winners ;The Google Giveaway Team felicitate with you and your family.

I wish to formally announce to you that you have successfully pass the requirements, statutory obligations, verifications, validations and satisfactory report test conducted for all our online lucky winners. Your payment have been completely processed and approved, it's ready for disbursement to you. Your payment will be made to you in the next 48-72 hours after contacting Our paying Bank (Yorkshire Bank) who is responsible for the swift Bank transfer of your winning funds to your designated account in your Country. Thus, you should contact our paying Bank immediately as directed below inorder for you to know the procedure/requirement of getting your fund transferred to your local Bank account. Please note that you will be required to provide some document like a copy of drivers license and other legal document to backup the transfer of your funds and instructions will be given to you by the Bank on how to transfers fund to your designated bank account online.

It is our major priority as your processing/fiduciary agent to make sure that your winning funds gets to you within the stipulated time for the claiming of winning, with that goal set in our mind in this office, we have deposited your winning funds including your winning certificate with Yorkshire Bank Plc (Our paying Bank) . The total sum of £500,000 GBP(Five hundred thousand Great  British Pound Sterling)  has been deposited in your name. Now you are to contact the Bank with the contact information below for further instructions on how to transfer your winning funds into your nominated personal account in your country.

You should contact the Yorkshire Bank Plc immediately without any delays, for your winning cheque had already been giving to them for onward transfer to your personal account. Note that you are to provide the Bank with your  verification /payment processing form, Drivers license or passport as proof of identification: Find below, the contact details of Yorkshire Bank Plc (Our paying Bank):

YORKSHIRE BANK,UK contact info.

E-MAIL: remittance_dept_ybplc@msn.com, ybonline_uk@accountant.com

Head of Operation: Mr. Campbell Wright

Tel:  +44 7024075591, +44 7031964671

Fax: +44 870 479 1652

ENDEAVOUR TO CALL THE BANK IMMEDIATELY YOUR MAIL IS SENT TO THEM.

*****************************************************************************

It is imperative that you add your Identification Code :ELPC/MWT/0143 and Reference No: ( YKSH/UK/ACC101/UB-NL) as the subject of any correspondence with the Yorkshire Bank Plc to ensure that they respond in a timely manner. Please, I will require a concise update on proceedings with the Yorkshire Bank Plc as soon as you are in contact with them. Endeavour to call the BANK immediately you contact them via email. Please endeavor to donate not less than 10% of your winning to any internationally recognized charity homes closer to you so that a lot of the less privilege once can feel our contribution.

Individuals not interested or unable to facilitate the claims to their winnings should forward an application stating their inability to avoid time wasting. Also, if you intend picking up your prize personally from our office please disregard this mail and send us an application letter to pickup your prize from our office here in UK so we can give you the necessary information/requirement. If you need any assistance whatsoever, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Warm Regards MR. GRAHAM BENFIELD. Payment Release Department, Google Lottery Board,United Kingdom.

And the best part? They even included a certificate! Yes, yes, it looks like something you'd find in a grade school classroom, but still!

As much fun as this has been, I get bored rather quickly with ridiculousness and sent this to wrap things up:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com>

to "Mr. Graham Benfield" <mr_g_benfield@msn.com>

date Tue, Jan 12, 2010 at 2:47 PM

subject Attn: Processing/Verification Completed ...(Contact Yorkshire Bank)

This is so very excellent. Mr. Benfield. Thank you so much! I find it incredible you have processed everything already considering I never sent my personal contact information, but whatever. I actually met with the realtor sooner than expected and I put in an offer. They called me back three hours later and said the house is mine! I can't wait! I owe you so very much, Mr. Benfield, for your incredible generosity. However, I have one more request. Due to reasons I would very much not like to go into, I am not allowed to have a bank account. So would it be possible to have the money delivered in unmarked five dollar bills? They need to be five dollar bills, and not printed before 2005. That is very important. I also need those unmarked five dollar bills (remember, nothing before 2005) to be placed in a stainless steel Samsonite case. I need that Samsonite case to be put in an extra large Hefty garbage bag. I need the Samsonite case in the extra large Hefty case to be placed in an apple crate. What type of apple crate, it doesn't matter. And then, if it's not too much trouble, could you dress up as a clown and deliver it to me at a location of my choosing. Do not notify the police. I am very serious about this. If you notify the police, you will never see your children again. You have one day.

Again, thank you SO much for this opportunity!

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

P.S. I think it's great that Google lets you used an MSN e-mail account. You'd think they would, you know, prefer you use Google ...

And that's that. Haven't heard anything back yet, and I doubt I will. A waste of time, maybe, but I did end up with a fine looking certificate. Jealous, aren't you? Yes, I can tell. You're jealous.

Farewell, My Friend

2010 is not off to a great start. On New Year's day we had to put Ralphie down. He was about two and a half years old. He lived much longer than he was supposed to. About a year after we got him a massive tumor grew on his side literally overnight. We had it removed. Four months later another tumor appeared. We had that one removed. Then, a few months ago, another tumor appeared but this one was in his bladder and was, unfortunately, inoperable. Over the next couple months he would have good days and he would have bad days, but on the first day of this month we knew it was time. Yes, he was a rat, but so what? I never thought I'd have a rat as a pet (it was my wife's idea; the moment she saw him at the pet store she knew he was the one), but I took to him immediately. He was my little buddy. He was a very domesticated rat, and because he was almost never with any other rats, I don't think he even knew he was a rat. Most times he acted like a dog, following me and my wife around the townhouse when we went room to room. I will remember him fondly as my little buddy; he even inspired a story. He was always getting into trouble. There are books and papers all over the place with little bite marks (he loved to chew paper ... even my Norton contract). To keep him from running up the stairs, we would put up a cardboard partition, and he would always manage to find a way to knock it down. He was super smart. When he was done running around and wanted attention, he would come and stand on either my foot or my wife's foot to be picked up. Or if my wife and I were on the couch together, he would sometimes manage to jump and climb up so he could be with us.

So 2010 is dedicated to Ralphie. We're going to miss you, buddy. You are loved.

Spam I Am I Am

I don't know about you, but I've always found spam fascinating. Sure, it's a pain in the ass, but where does it come from? Who sends it out? How exactly does it end up in your spam folder or, if the spam lucks out, in your in-box? Michael Marshall (Smith) had a great theory about e-mail spam in his Straw Men trilogy. I won't give it away but just say that I thought it was brilliant, wish I had come up with it first.

Note too that I don't like these people. They're despicable, though not nearly as despicable as plagiarists. The thing about spammers is that it's a two-way street. They have to send out the e-mails, and someone has to respond. And let's face it, someone does respond, because why else would these spammers go to such lengths?  That, I think, is what I find most fascinating, that there are people out there that actually fall for this bullshit.

Anyway, the best way to avoid spam is to never put your e-mail address anywhere online, or if you must -- like I have on my contact page -- then mix up the address with (at)'s and (com)'s so whatever spam-crawler there is out there can't grab it.

I should have done the same thing when I posted the Hint Fiction submission address. Instead, like an idiot, I included the entire thing, even hyperlinked it, and you know what? The spammers had a field day. In fact, they're still having a field day, because when I log into the account every so often, the spam folder will be bulging with spam e-mails. Some even managed to sneak in undetected into the in-box. And I said to myself: I could delete these, sure, but what fun would that be?

So I opened one of them and responded, just to see what might happen. Below is the correspondence so far. Note that names and e-mail addresses have not been changed to exploit the guilty. Also, not a word of the spammer's e-mail has been touched (I personally think the people behind these scams are very intelligent and know proper grammar and write the e-mails this way to make them seem "more realistic").

from    oulim george <oulim5george@sbcglobal.net> to date    Sun, Oct 25, 2009 at 4:18 AM subject    Hi My New Friend, signed-by    sbcglobal.net

Hi My New Friend,

How are you? my name is Oulim George it is my great pleasure to contact you through this media requesting for a relationship and i know that you will grant my request in good faith and understanding while we see what happened in future.

I will be very happy if you can write me back so that l will tell you more about me and also send my picture and details about my self, you should remember that distance, color, language or race cannot be barriers. i will be waiting to hear from you,

Your new friend,

Miss Oulim,

And now here's my simple response to get the ball rolling:

from    Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com> to    oulim george <oulim5george@sbcglobal.net> date    Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 12:17 AM subject    Re: Hi My New Friend, mailed-by    gmail.com

Hi -

I don't have many friends. Will you be my friend?

And then a pretty instant reply:

from    oulim george <oulim5george@sbcglobal.net> to    Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com> date    Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 7:00 AM subject    Hello Dear signed-by    sbcglobal.net

Hello Dear, Thanks for your message. How are you,hope you are doing fine?I think you are the type of man i want in my life,i want someone who knows how to treat and take care of woman. Well,as a young girl i am seaching for a good friend and a man who is ready to love and be loved,a man who does not take advantage of women and a man who can be trusted,it does not matter where he comes from, nor race,as long as thier is understanding and love. I am a humble and gentle girl,I am very caring and i am the type who will do everything posisble to make my man happy so that the love which we shall have will be a lasting one. My name is Oulim George,i am 24yrs old,from Liberia. I do not smoke,i do not drink and i eat healthy food. My hobbies are swimming,listening to good music,especialy Rnb and gospel music, i like  reading books. I am a truthfull and well brought up girl from a good family.When my parents were alive,they thought me so many good things and even now they are no more i have seen the importance of getting a good upbringing. I believe life is about to learn every day. No one is perfect .I want to find someone to share happiness with me,well,not only happiness because life is not pink,but share difficult times too and make them easier with love and understanding.i hope that person is you.I am  looking forward to better days ahead as i feel this is the start of a great relationship.

This is all i can say about me for now,as time goes on and as we become more closer,i will tell you more about me and we can share more personal secrets with each other. I send my pics with this message.Please darling tell me more about yourself and give me your pics.I don't have my private number for now but you can call me on the Reverend number, his name is Pastor Davies. Cheers,

Oulim

Plus this picture (she must think she's Spider-man):

And then my reply:

from    Hint Fiction Anthology <hint.fiction@gmail.com> to    oulim george <oulim5george@sbcglobal.net> date    Sun, Nov 1, 2009 at 5:32 PM subject    Re: Hello Dear mailed-by    gmail.com

Well, people would call me a masochist, but I think I'm just misunderstood. The stuff that happened to the animals wasn't my fault, and besides, the police were never able to prove any of it was my doing anyway. I like reading and watching DVDs and long walks on the beach. I also like huffing glue, notably Elmer's. I think they make the best glue to huff, must be something in the chemicals. Let's see ... I like pepperoni pizza, I like Spam sandwiches, I like parking in handicapped spaces at the mall even though I'm not handicapped just so that the real handicapped people have to park farther away. I steal cable because I love HBO but think it's too expensive otherwise. My favorite show of all time is Big Love, because he has three wives. What is your opinion on polygamy? I await your reply ...

And that's it for now. When there's more, you better believe I'll post it here.

Here's Your Treat, Now Get Off My Porch

Another busy week, but I should be caught up soon and posting more around here. Hopefully. In the meantime, I thought I'd partake in a little Flash Fiction Friday with a supernatural tale, a Halloween treat if you will. First though, I want to give a shout out to Joe Schreiber, whose Stars Wars novel Death Troopers debuted at #13 on the New York Times bestseller list. Very nicely done, Joe.

Anyway, remember awhile back I mentioned how the problem with writing for certain themed anthologies or magazines is that, if you don't sell the story, you're pretty much screwed? Well, that happened to me recently. Shroud magazine had a flash fiction contest a month or two back. My story was a semi-finalist, so I know it's not complete crap, and why I feel okay letting you see it now.

Before you read it though, understand that the stories for the contest had to do with this true news story. After reading the brief article, you probably see why the contest's theme makes it difficult to try to sell the story elsewhere. So that's why I'm presenting it to you, because you asked so nicely and I'd rather give you a treat than risk whatever trick you might have in store. Enjoy.

All the King’s Horses, All the King’s Men

A joke, that’s all it had been, just some dumb prank that was expected of teenagers because, come on, they’re kids, and like all kids, they make mistakes. But no, the authorities hadn’t seen it that way, neither did the school district, and so her son was suspended for a week, a week where he spent thirty hours of community service, like he was a real criminal and not a confused, misunderstood sixteen-year-old.

That had been two weeks ago, the worst week of their lives ever since Randall left — her husband having packed his bags and walked out the front door without looking back — and now something had happened to her son.

“Honey?” She knocked on his door. “Can I come in?”

No answer.

She let herself into the room. It was dark. She flicked the switch on the wall but the lamp wouldn’t come on.

“I took the bulb out.”

His voice, coming from the bed, startled her.

She cleared her throat. “Why?”

“It was too bright.”

“Honey … ” She started forward.

“Don’t. Please, Mom. Just leave me alone.”

“But — ”

“Please.”

She could barely see him in the dark, his face pale in the little light coming from the doorway.

She stood another moment, then turned to leave.

“I was telling the truth before,” he said. “I don’t know who it was.”

The other person, the one who had escaped in the Humpty Dumpty costume, what everyone assumed was a friend of Stuart’s.

“I don’t think … ” Stuart cleared his throat. “I don’t think anybody was in that suit. I think … it was empty.”

*

Later she found herself smoking, wanting to call someone but not knowing who to call. Her son — she hated to admit it — had gone crazy. Randall, she blamed Randall for this, wherever the hell he was. If he hadn’t left, Stuart wouldn’t be so messed up.

She sat at the kitchen table and went to light her fourth cigarette when upstairs she heard her son scream.

*

His door was locked.

“Stuart, open up!”

He cried out again, his voice unintelligible, then: “Here, he’s here!”

“What?” Thinking for an instant he meant his father. “Who?”

“Please, Mommy, make him go away!”

Her son, regressed to a boy again, sobbing for help.

“Honey” — she banged her fists on the door — “open up!”

“He wants … he wants me to fill his soul. He wants … he wants me to help put him back together again.”

Her son’s words, mixed with cries of pain, and then, suddenly, silence.

She stood very still.

“Honey?”

No answer.

She tried the knob again — this time it turned — and pushed the door open.

He was on the bed.

“Stuart?”

She started forward, was beside him an instant later. His face had gone completely ashen, his eyes open.

The light from the doorway faded, and she turned just in time to see the white curve of a giant egg disappear around the corner.

Douchebag Alert

This has crossed a bunch of blogs over the past 24 hours, not to mention Twitter, but I thought I'd mention it here in case a few people haven't been made aware yet. This blog post from Angel Zapata explains how a writer is ripping off other writers (Aaron Polson is one of the "other writers" and also talks about the experience here).

Basically, some shithead is plagiarizing other works online -- taking paragraphs and lines from other stories -- and making it his own.

Apparently, this asshole even went so far as to try to rip off Stephen King's "The Boogeyman." Supposedly "King's people" have been notified about this, but I'm sure this is far from a top priority for them -- and no doubt not the first time this has happened.

Mostly this case seems to be sequestered to the online horror small press sector, but it's worth keeping in mind that this shit happens all the time in any genre community, and the only way to police it is for everyone to stay vigilant.

And how does one go about stopping this?

Well, there's the rub. Being online makes everyone anonymous. This dirtbag could be living next door to me for all I know (though according to one bio he lives in the UK and is -- get this -- a law student). Suffice it to say, the name he's been using -- a pseudonym -- will very quickly be on the radar of every editor in the horror small press and beyond and he will be, as they say, blacklisted.

Until, of course, he picks a new pseudonym and starts the cycle all over again.

Now, on a brighter note, the online writing and reading community Fictionaut has gone live to the public. If you like social interaction, and you like writers and readers, then you probably want to check it out. Keep in mind that while it's open to the public to see, you must be a member to interact. Luckily, I currently have 3 invites for anybody who would be interested. If so, say something to that effect in the comments section and I'll contact you.