More Spamming Fun

As I had mentioned in this post, I find spam fascinating. Not just the fact that there are ridiculous people out there coming up with this stuff, but that there are actually enough stupid people falling for the ridiculousness. I should delete the Hint Fiction Gmail account; there really is no reason to keep it active, especially since it accumulates so much spam, but recently I decided to have some more fun. I might be the only person who finds this amusing, and if that's the case, sorry, but here's the latest (note that by copying and pasting I can't bring over some of the brightly colored fonts that are, I suppose, meant to catch people's attention and let them know this is completely legit):

from Google Promo 2010 <>



date Wed, Jan 6, 2010 at 8:44 AM

subject Google Happy New Year Promo

Your e-mail has emerged as a winner of £ 500,000.00 GBP (five hundred thousand pounds) in our ongoing Google Promotion. Your winning details are: Computer Generated Profile Numbers (CGPN) :7-22-71-00-66-12, ticket number: 00869575733664, Serial numbers: / BTD/8070447706/06, Lucky Numbers : 12-12-23-35-40-41 (12). Contact Graham Benfield, for more information through the contact below:

Mr Graham Benfield, Email:

So I respond as quickly as I can (keep in mind I check the account maybe once a week), using my favorite spamming non de plume:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <>


date Fri, Jan 8, 2010 at 5:24 PM

subject winner winner

Dear Mr. Benfield,

I am contacting you in regards to my winnings. What do you need from me?

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

And, as expected, this arrived:

from Mr. Graham Benfield <>
date Sat, Jan 9, 2010 at 9:45 AM
subject Verification/payment Processing ...(Please fill correctly and return)

Belgrave House, 76 Buckingham Palace Road London SW1W 9TQ, United Kingdom. P O Box 1010

TEL:+44 703 1949460,+44 703 1931229 Fax: +448704710767, +44 700 597 8372 .

Dear Googler,

You are welcome to the  Verification/payment Processing Unit of the Google Giveaway Team. I am Mr. Graham Benfield acting as the processing/fiduciary agent of all our lucky winners for this year draw. Your email was received and duly acknowledged.please pardon me for the late response. Am pleased to inform you that your email address have been checked and it falls among our 24 lucky winning email addresses for this year draw.

Note, No purchase of ticket was required for this draw, all Participants (email addresses) for this draws were randomly selected from a worldwide range of web searchers who use the Google search engine(Googler) and other Google ancillary services and this is how your email was discovered and used among others for this year anniversary promotions. You have been confirmed as a winner of £500,000 GBP(Five hundred thousand Great  British Pound Sterling) which is your winning payout for Category A winners. This cash is from the total prize money of £12,000,000 GBP shared among the 24 lucky winners in this year anniversary giveaway promotions. As you already know,your email address was randomly selected along with others from over 100, 000 email addresses on the internet and each email address was attached to a ticket number : 00869575733664and CGPN:7-22-71-00-66-12, Serial numbers:/BTD/8070447706/06. Once again CONGRATULATIONS!!

Below is a copy of the Google Verification/ Payment processing Form which have been designed for lucky winners who are filing for their prize claim. The Form should be filled correctly and completely by winners(you) and must be sent back to me either by email or Fax along with a proof of identification (either a copy of drivers license or passport).Your payment processing will commenced immediately the VERIFICATION/PAYMENT PROCESSING reach me and your cash prize will be ready for disbursement as soon as your payment processing is completed and approved. Completion of payment processing and approval takes just 12- 24hours after the receipt of the Verification/payment processing form from winners. To this note, you are advise to fill and send back the form below as soon as possible to avoid any delay that may disqualify you from redeeming your fortune.

Note: For you to be able to fill out the form below, just click on reply from your mail box then double click twice) on the space box by this way you will be able to write in space box. Alternatively, you can just writeout the required information out and send to me via this email in plain text if you are unable to fillout the form as directed.


Section A.


Prefix (Mr., Mrs., Ms., Dr.):
First name :
Middle name :
Last name :
Date of Birth (yyy-mm-dd) :
Occupation :
Address :
Country :
Telephone number(s):

Mobile number(s):

Email Address 1&2:

Section B.


Amount won / Date of notification
Ticket number / Serial number
Lucky numbers / CGPN
Payment Options (tick on any of the payment option, the one that you find most convenient) Personal prize Pickup.

Online Bank Transfer.

I expect you to fill and return the Giveaway promo Verification/payment processing form above within 24hrs upon receipt of this message so that appropriate arrangement can be put in place.

WARNING: You are strongly advise to keep your winning details very confidential until your claims has been processed and your money remitted to you to avoid unwarranted abuse of this program by some participants. Any breach of confidential may disqualify you from redeeming your fortune.

Warm Regards MR. GRAHAM BENFIELD. Payment Release Department, Google Lottery Board,United Kingdom.

And here I play the trusting mark:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <>

to "Mr. Graham Benfield" <>

date Sun, Jan 10, 2010 at 7:21 PM

subject Re: Verification/payment Processing ...(Please fill correctly and return)

Mr. Benfield,

I apologize but I am confused in regards to this form. Yes, I understand what information I need to input and where to input it, but how do I submit it correctly to ensure all of my winnings arrive to me safely? I am so excited about this! I have already maxed out all of my credit cards buying things for my apartment. In fact, I may have bought too many things, but that's okay because next week I am meeting with a realtor in regards to purchasing a house! Finally, I can afford one, and it's all thanks to you, Mr. Benfield. You are a saint.

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

And then ...

from Mr. Graham Benfield <>


date Mon, Jan 11, 2010 at 8:43 AM

subject Attn: Processing/Verification Completed...( Contact Yorkshire Bank)

THE Google UK GIVE-AWAY TEAM. Belgrave House, 76 Buckingham Palace Road London SW1W 9TQ, United Kingdom. P O Box 1010

TEL:+44 703 1949460,+44 703 1931229 Fax: +448704710767, +44 700 597 8372 .

Dear Googler,

Accept our sincere apology,for the slight delay in responding to your mail,it was an outcome of the processing of your winning documents. We wish to congratulate you once again on this note,for being part of our 24 lucky winners ;The Google Giveaway Team felicitate with you and your family.

I wish to formally announce to you that you have successfully pass the requirements, statutory obligations, verifications, validations and satisfactory report test conducted for all our online lucky winners. Your payment have been completely processed and approved, it's ready for disbursement to you. Your payment will be made to you in the next 48-72 hours after contacting Our paying Bank (Yorkshire Bank) who is responsible for the swift Bank transfer of your winning funds to your designated account in your Country. Thus, you should contact our paying Bank immediately as directed below inorder for you to know the procedure/requirement of getting your fund transferred to your local Bank account. Please note that you will be required to provide some document like a copy of drivers license and other legal document to backup the transfer of your funds and instructions will be given to you by the Bank on how to transfers fund to your designated bank account online.

It is our major priority as your processing/fiduciary agent to make sure that your winning funds gets to you within the stipulated time for the claiming of winning, with that goal set in our mind in this office, we have deposited your winning funds including your winning certificate with Yorkshire Bank Plc (Our paying Bank) . The total sum of £500,000 GBP(Five hundred thousand Great  British Pound Sterling)  has been deposited in your name. Now you are to contact the Bank with the contact information below for further instructions on how to transfer your winning funds into your nominated personal account in your country.

You should contact the Yorkshire Bank Plc immediately without any delays, for your winning cheque had already been giving to them for onward transfer to your personal account. Note that you are to provide the Bank with your  verification /payment processing form, Drivers license or passport as proof of identification: Find below, the contact details of Yorkshire Bank Plc (Our paying Bank):

YORKSHIRE BANK,UK contact info.


Head of Operation: Mr. Campbell Wright

Tel:  +44 7024075591, +44 7031964671

Fax: +44 870 479 1652



It is imperative that you add your Identification Code :ELPC/MWT/0143 and Reference No: ( YKSH/UK/ACC101/UB-NL) as the subject of any correspondence with the Yorkshire Bank Plc to ensure that they respond in a timely manner. Please, I will require a concise update on proceedings with the Yorkshire Bank Plc as soon as you are in contact with them. Endeavour to call the BANK immediately you contact them via email. Please endeavor to donate not less than 10% of your winning to any internationally recognized charity homes closer to you so that a lot of the less privilege once can feel our contribution.

Individuals not interested or unable to facilitate the claims to their winnings should forward an application stating their inability to avoid time wasting. Also, if you intend picking up your prize personally from our office please disregard this mail and send us an application letter to pickup your prize from our office here in UK so we can give you the necessary information/requirement. If you need any assistance whatsoever, please do not hesitate to let me know.

Warm Regards MR. GRAHAM BENFIELD. Payment Release Department, Google Lottery Board,United Kingdom.

And the best part? They even included a certificate! Yes, yes, it looks like something you'd find in a grade school classroom, but still!

As much fun as this has been, I get bored rather quickly with ridiculousness and sent this to wrap things up:

from Hint Fiction Anthology <>

to "Mr. Graham Benfield" <>

date Tue, Jan 12, 2010 at 2:47 PM

subject Attn: Processing/Verification Completed ...(Contact Yorkshire Bank)

This is so very excellent. Mr. Benfield. Thank you so much! I find it incredible you have processed everything already considering I never sent my personal contact information, but whatever. I actually met with the realtor sooner than expected and I put in an offer. They called me back three hours later and said the house is mine! I can't wait! I owe you so very much, Mr. Benfield, for your incredible generosity. However, I have one more request. Due to reasons I would very much not like to go into, I am not allowed to have a bank account. So would it be possible to have the money delivered in unmarked five dollar bills? They need to be five dollar bills, and not printed before 2005. That is very important. I also need those unmarked five dollar bills (remember, nothing before 2005) to be placed in a stainless steel Samsonite case. I need that Samsonite case to be put in an extra large Hefty garbage bag. I need the Samsonite case in the extra large Hefty case to be placed in an apple crate. What type of apple crate, it doesn't matter. And then, if it's not too much trouble, could you dress up as a clown and deliver it to me at a location of my choosing. Do not notify the police. I am very serious about this. If you notify the police, you will never see your children again. You have one day.
Again, thank you SO much for this opportunity!

Yours truly,

Holden McGroin

P.S. I think it's great that Google lets you used an MSN e-mail account. You'd think they would, you know, prefer you use Google ...

And that's that. Haven't heard anything back yet, and I doubt I will. A waste of time, maybe, but I did end up with a fine looking certificate. Jealous, aren't you? Yes, I can tell. You're jealous.