Shad Up, You Durn Mudder Fudger

So the video below isn't real (at least it wasn't a real school play), though it wouldn't surprise me if some school eventually did decide to do some controversial and racy thing like this (a third grade version of Eyes Wide Shut, perhaps). What I find most amusing is that almost everyone at first thought it was real (I'll admit, so did I). If anything, the two minute clip is a great social commentary on our world. Take YA books, for instance: a reader is apt to find more violence and drug-use and profanity and sex in them than they are a typical adult novel. It sometimes seems YA authors try to push the envelope as much as possible, and then when nobody blinks, they try to push it further. But hey, some will argue, that's art. Right?

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uovMpapeCJQ

Summer of '84

If March has been a great month, it's because Laura Ellen Scott was the guest editor at Everyday Genius (and if you don't think March has been a great month, blame the Octomom). Every story and poem published there, they were because of her (Laura, not the Octomom). Like today, my story "Summer of '84" appears there. It's a flash told in hints (each section is no more than 25 words). LES and I are happy with the result. We hope you are too.

Beggars Can Be Choosers

I'm pleased to announce my novelette "Through the Guts of a Beggar" is now available for download. From the introduction:

In high school I’d written a horror short story called “In the Tall Grass.” As is the case with almost all of my early work, it evolved through the years and was expanded into a 10,000-word novelette called “Through the Guts of a Beggar.” It was eventually accepted for the pulpy monster horror anthology Tooth & Claw, edited by J. F. Gonzalez and Garrett Peck. The response to the anthology was greater than the editors had at first anticipated, and so they decided to split the anthology into two volumes. The first was released in 2002, with the idea that the second volume—containing my novelette—would be released the next year.

Unfortunately, the publisher folded before the second volume could be released. At the time there was talk the second volume might see the light of day elsewhere, but then more years passed and it became clear my novelette was now homeless. And as I was working on other projects and placed the novelette on a backburner, it remained homeless until now, where I’m presenting it as a free e-book.

With recent talks of enhanced e-books, I wanted to try something different with this project. The original story by itself is available for free download at Smashwords on almost every format imaginable. There is also a special edition, which contains an alternate ending (3,000 words), as well as two bonus short stories: "Dead Weight," which originally appeared in Fifty-Two Stitches, and "Castle Hybrid," which originally appeared in Allen K's Inhuman Magazine, and which is the author's preferred version. Both combined makes about 5,000 words, meaning the special edition includes the original 10,000-word novelette, as well as nearly 8,000 more words. This special edition can be downloaded at Smashwords and at the Kindle Store for 99 cents.

Here's the simple description of the novelette:

Josh wakes up one morning to find his ten-year-old brother filling in a grave in the backyard. From there, the day just gets worse.

Basically, if you like pulpy monster horror, this might be your thing. If you don't like pulpy monster horror, this might not be your thing. But as they say, you won't know until you try it. So go ahead and try it.

Two Contests

For you VSF writers, here are two contests worth checking out. The first is presented by Ben White at Nanoism:

The second is presented by J.A. Tyler at Mud Luscious Press:

the first Mud Luscious Press bookmark contest:

anyone who has ordered from us in the past knows that we have already made some slick looking ephemera bookmarks with cover designs & excerpts from forthcoming novel(la)s, but we plan on giving all of our back-stock of those away at AWP & will need something new to send in June with our next two novel(la)s & our chapbook subscriptions.

the guidelines:

150 words or less, no genre restrictions, $5 per entry or $8 for two. paypal & submit your entry(ies) here.

winners (x2) will each receive one quarter of the total entry fee pool + c. copies of the bookmarks to share as they see fit.

So what are you waiting for? Go submit!

The Attack Of The Eighty Foot Octomom

I was a little too busy this week to search for a good video to share -- at least the few I saw didn't blow me away -- and of course Vice President Biden had to go and make headlines with another gaffe, and running two Joe Biden posts so close together would just be lazy. But what the hell -- enjoy this one, uncensored:

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6MU7Ljz0EDE

Also, remember the Octomom? Yeah, I didn't either, but apparently she's in need of money and this is her solution. Maybe next she can team up with Kate Gosselin to create the show Octomom And Kate Plus A Bunch Of Traumatized Kids. It'd be a hit.

httpv://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wdZj8erIiN4