Have You Heard The One About Two Bank Robbers?

Issue 2 of 10Flash Quarterly has gone live. The journal is writer K.C. Ball's brainchild, 10 (well, 11) flash fiction pieces published every three months around a common theme. The theme this time around is two people, one of them wounded, on the run following a botched bank robbery.

What's neat is that writers can take the theme in any direction they'd like, in any genre: suspense, horror, fantasy, science fiction, etc. Check out the guidelines for the themes for upcoming issues; they are broad enough that, if your story isn't accepted, you aren't left with an unsellable story (unlike, say, a theme about a tryst between the Lucky Charms leprechaun and the Trix rabbit). Plus, it's a paying market!

Anyway, my suspense story "Two of a Kind," can be found here. Enjoy.

Douchebag Alert

This has crossed a bunch of blogs over the past 24 hours, not to mention Twitter, but I thought I'd mention it here in case a few people haven't been made aware yet. This blog post from Angel Zapata explains how a writer is ripping off other writers (Aaron Polson is one of the "other writers" and also talks about the experience here).

Basically, some shithead is plagiarizing other works online -- taking paragraphs and lines from other stories -- and making it his own.

Apparently, this asshole even went so far as to try to rip off Stephen King's "The Boogeyman." Supposedly "King's people" have been notified about this, but I'm sure this is far from a top priority for them -- and no doubt not the first time this has happened.

Mostly this case seems to be sequestered to the online horror small press sector, but it's worth keeping in mind that this shit happens all the time in any genre community, and the only way to police it is for everyone to stay vigilant.

And how does one go about stopping this?

Well, there's the rub. Being online makes everyone anonymous. This dirtbag could be living next door to me for all I know (though according to one bio he lives in the UK and is -- get this -- a law student). Suffice it to say, the name he's been using -- a pseudonym -- will very quickly be on the radar of every editor in the horror small press and beyond and he will be, as they say, blacklisted.

Until, of course, he picks a new pseudonym and starts the cycle all over again.

Now, on a brighter note, the online writing and reading community Fictionaut has gone live to the public. If you like social interaction, and you like writers and readers, then you probably want to check it out. Keep in mind that while it's open to the public to see, you must be a member to interact. Luckily, I currently have 3 invites for anybody who would be interested. If so, say something to that effect in the comments section and I'll contact you.

Three Inhuman Winners

Thanks to everyone who participated in "An Inhuman Little Contest." The turnout was pretty good, enough so I can give away three copies of the magazine. A lot of imaginative "captions" too, though I'm not sure if it should worry me that a number of people had a "Robert" as the character being eaten. For those interested, I stole the novelette's title from Hamlet. And those things consuming the guy in the picture is actually supposed to be long grass ... which isn't really grass but something else ...

Anyway, I wrote each person's name who commented on separate Post-It notes, folded each twice, then put them all in a hat and had my wife select three random winners. And those winners are --

  • Brenda Stokes

  • Chris Chartrand

  • Jason Thummel

If the three of you wouldn't mind e-mailing me your addresses at robert (at) robertswartwood (dot) com, I promise to just send you a copy of Inhuman and not resell those addresses to the ShamWow people no matter how much they offer me :-)

And to everyone else, thanks again for participating. To paraphrase an American icon, you are what this blog is all about.

New Story At The Leaf Of Wig

I have a little sumin sumin up at Wigleaf called "Phantom Energy." I also have a postcard there. The story can be read here, the postcard can be read here. You don't have to read either in any order, but you must read both. Oh yes, you must. Also, a few weeks ago I did this post about what makes a professional writer. Camille Gooderham Campbell -- recently promoted to Managing Editor at Every Day Fiction -- has tackled this issue not from the point of view of a writer (which seemed to mostly be the case here) but as an editor. Definitely worth checking out to get one editor's POV, especially if you're looking to try to place something with EDF :-)

Finally, make sure you check out the mini-contest I've got going. We're already up to giving away two copies of the magazine. Let's increase that number considerably, shall we?

An Inhuman Little Contest

The name Allen Koszowski is synonymous in the horror community with quality artwork. He's done over 2,000 illustrations for countless magazines and anthologies. Most of his artwork has a pulp sensibility, so it would make sense that he would eventually start his own magazine -- a monster magazine -- where he would not just be the editor, but also the artist for every work included. In 2004, the premiere issue of Allen K's Inhuman Magazine appeared. Over the next two years, two more issues became available. I wrote a pulpy science fiction horror story for Allen, which he kindly accepted (and paid on acceptance, too!).

And like many other writers whose work had been accepted for the magazine, I waited. And waited. And waited some more.

Then I found out Allen was having health problems, and it looked as if the magazine would cease to exist. A shame, sure, but completely understandable considering the circumstances. It's just one of those things that happen -- publications come and go, and we writers must move with the flow. (No, I was not trying to sound like Dr. Seuss there.)

But then, just a week ago, I learned that Allen's health has gotten much better, and that he's resurrected the magazine -- which, happily, includes my story "Castle Hybrid."

So many years have passed that the story has gone through a number of revisions. I tried selling it elsewhere, but there aren't that many markets looking for pulpy science fiction horror. So what the text is going to look like, I'm not sure -- I have yet to get my paws on a copy -- but Allen did e-mail me to let me know that, to try to fit in as many stories as possible, not all stories are accompanied by illustrations.

Mine, apparently, is one of those stories.

Am I disappointed? Yeah, a little, because it would have been great to see what Allen came up with, but that's okay. I'm just happy the story has finally seen print.

So what's the contest hinted at in the title of this post? Well, years ago -- back before that first issue of Inhuman even came out -- I had a novelette accepted for a monster anthology edited by J.F. Gonzalez and Garrett Peck called Tooth and Claw. The response had been so large that the editors decided to split the anthology into two volumes. My novelette was prepped to close out the second volume, which, as an extremely young and new writer, was a thrill. Each story in the anthology was illustrated by Allen. Volume 1 came out, but before volume 2 could be released (like right before, because I remember signing 300 signature sheets), the publisher folded.

Again: writers must move with the flow.

I never did anything with the novelette, because as years went by I kept revising it a little bit here, a little bit there, that I never became satisfied, but I did manage to get a hold of the original artwork Allen did for my story.

And that's where this mini-contest comes into play.

If you'd like to purchase the latest issue of Inhuman or just check out the table of contents (or check out Allen's work in general), you can do so here. If you'd like a chance to win a free copy signed by me, here's how:

The title of my novelette was "Through the Guts of a Beggar." The original artwork -- which, again, never saw the light of day -- appears below. As you can see, it's quite pulpy. And keeping in the tradition of old pulp magazines which featured illustrations and had captions accompanied with those illustrations, I'm asking you to write a quick caption. Obviously you don't know anything about the story or characters, but based on the novelette's title and the illustration itself, I'm sure you can come up with something imaginative. Keep it short, too, like around 25 words. And to celebrate the resurrection of the magazine, the more people that participate, the more copies I'll give away. So for every 5 people leaving a caption in the comments section of this post, I'll throw an extra copy in the mix. This mini-contest runs until Friday at midnight here on the east coast. Then I'll use one of those fancy random-name-picker-thingys online and announce the winner(s) some time Saturday. (Note: if you're reading this on Facebook and would like to participate, please do so at my website.)

Sound like some good ole fun? No? Too bad. Play anyway.

Now feast your eyes, people, and let the captioning begin: